'Brendon McCullum must bat with an eye patch'
We know you've all spent many years pondering Rob Key's position on snow.
Finally, let the truth be revealed!
And, to put that into context…
So, should you ever happen across Rob at a winter wedding, don't air kiss him and then ask him if he fancies a dance outside.
This column heartily endorses all of his selections, incidentally. Especially number four.
As well as providing insight into cricketers' positions on meteorological phenomena, Twitter can also give us a glimpse of the lifestyle of a professional athlete.
The key to being a top-level cricketer is to train hard.
He doesn't state it explicitly, but Kieron really showed The Big Wedge who was boss during that day's session.
In contrast, the key to being a retired top-level cricketer is to relax hard.
It's also important to find new interests.
No, not that. Try again.
Yes, that's cricketer food. Quite subtle as these tweets go, but there's no mistaking that restaurant.
But time away from the game is only fun when it's not enforced by the governing body. No cricketer welcomes a suspension.
However, it seems that one of their main gripes is simply that it's an unimaginative form of punishment.
There isn't enough multi-tasking in those suggestions for our tastes. Perhaps they could have taken inspiration from their coach.
Finally, it's in-flight selfie time - but we'll leave you with a question.
Are they in a helicopter?
Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket